No Cake For Me Thank you

So it’s been just over a week with supplements and change in diet. I definitely feel better. I am experiencing less pain overall, my movements are easier throughout the day and I am no longer excruciatingly stiff in the mornings and evenings. There is also a marked change in my ability to focus. I even made it through a game of chess this afternoon. I look forward to playing more often but I think I should crawl before I learn to walk. I’m pretty sure I should remove alcohol from my diet as well, or limit myself to a glass or 2 of wine every once in a while as I now am able to feel the effects it has on my functioning and pain the following day (and no I am not talking about simple hangover symptoms). Using it as a means to self medicate is one thing, but I’m hoping I won’t need to do that on a regular (nearly daily) basis.

Right now the Lyme and the resulting co-infections have taken a back seat to the food allergies. While I have no great misery about no longer ingesting gluten, egg, yeast and most dairy, it seems others do. Granted, those that I have recently spent time with know of the new changes I have had to make but honestly, it really isn’t that big of a deal for me to change what I eat. Granted, you won’t see me anywhere near a pizza parlor and I want nothing more than to attack the Domino's delivery driver as I see him drive by. It really is okay. I am looking forward to exploring the kitchen again. I just wish that Whole Foods was more conveniently located so I could stock up the pantry.

Now, a simple ”no, thank you” just doesn’t seem to be enough when someone tries to pass a piece of birthday cake. Maybe it never was, but now I notice it because no, I really can’t eat cake and I treat it like poison. So the conversation goes from “no thank you” to an eventual “no, I cannot eat that”, which then brings about the whole allergy thing. When really all I was trying to do was avoid the whole topic and concentrate on whatever is going on around me. I suppose I could simply take the offered food and set it aside and hope no one notices that I don’t eat it, but that seems like a waste of food and again, I am afraid of inviting a conversation that really is tiring and unnecessary.

In a few days I will start on the antibiotic. I am worried about how my body will handle it, the side effects. Hopefully the worst that I will experience is some mild nausea, but I won’t know until I start. I haven’t taken an antibiotic in years, decades maybe.

Ah Detox

So I've made it through 4 full days of life without gluten, eggs or yeast. On top of that I've been taking the supplements religiously. My routine is dictated by a yellow sheet of paper held on to the fridge by, of all things, a Domino's Pizza magnet. I really need to get one of those pill box things so I can just grab and go each day.

A few things I have noted. I am cranky, frustrated, angry, overwhelmed and seriously anxious. You would think this would be a bad thing, and while it might be for those stuck in close quarters with me, it's actually positive. See it means I am feeling again, and becoming aware. I am no longer stuck in a zombie state or swimming through fog to try to function with any sense of normalcy. I have become quite adept and pretending I am more okay than I really am. What it means is this is all starting to work. And I don't think I would feel nearly as bloated as I do if it weren't for the massive dose of Chinese food I have been eating the past couple of days. Discovering egg in the moo shu chicken was disappointing and resulted in it going to the trash.

My BFF stopped by this morning at an unholy hour on her way to work to drop off a book she had promised me ( http://www.dummies.com/store/product/Living-Gluten-Free-For-Dummies.productCd-0471773832.html ). I put a few more books on reserve at the library. Gluten free seems to be the easy part. It's adding life without egg and yeast to that where the challenges hide. Oh, and just 10 days left before I start on Levaquin. Yippee!

D Day

A big sigh of relief. Yesterday I spent an hour with Dr. K. going over all of my test results, translating them to English and creating a treatment plan. Yes, I have Chronic Lyme, yes I have co-infections (including cat scratch fever which makes me giggle), yes my immune system is shot from being in overdrive for the past 4 plus years, yes I have allergies, my hormones are all wonky, sure my thyroid is shot, yes I have deficiencies galore, and yes, I have hope.

In two weeks I will start oral antibiotics. In the meantime I am trying to get myself back in balance with supplements galore and diet changes so I will better tolerate the Levaquin. No more gluten, no more yeast, and *sniff* no more eggs. Sadly, no more oysters too, which is odd because I am zinc deficient and oysters are loaded with zinc. But now I know why I felt awful the day after having gone out and having 1/2 dozen oysters with dinner the other night.

I have spent the past few years trying to pretend that I was okay, trying to get through a day without collapsing in tears and frustration in front of others, and most of the time I succeeded. The memory issues, inability to focus, depression, pain, mood swings, lethargy, anxiety, sleep deprivation, it really wasn't all in my head. There is a reason, and with some work and patience I should be back to being a functional me again.

But honestly, eggs? Really? At least I still have sushi.

Fingers Crossed

Waiting, that sweet anticipation. I find myself staring at my phone, willing it to ring, wondering if I should pick it up to check for a dial tone. Yes, I realize how silly this is. It is a cell phone and I am not a teenager and I have voicemail.

My test results are in and the consult is scheduled for next Thursday - a whole week and a day away, gah! But there is hope that one of the Friday appointments will cancel and I will be in the office, notebook in hand so I can have something to reference once I leave the office as I know I will miss, forget or be unable to process some vital (to me) piece of information. I should know tomorrow morning if I am lucky enough to snag the early appointment.

I've never looked forward to a Dr.'s appointment before, so it is a bit strange to feel this way. Then again I've never been in this position before, where my symptoms aren't viewed as imaginary, impossible, perplexing, or perhaps temporary. There is peace in validation and sitting with the pain, knowing I'm not completely mad. I am excited for treatment to start, now matter how much work it involves (I should post that as an affirmation on my bathroom mirror for reference).